Friendship

I know it has been quite a while since my last post. Things have been crazy busy for me what with student teaching, my online class, preparing for the AEPA, padres and chargers games, the SCSBOA Fall Conference, etc. But it is that time of the year where I sit and truly think about my friends, "friends," and everyone else that I know.

I apologize in advance if this seems rather scatter-brained. I haven't been sleeping well and I spent most of the night sitting here crying and feeling sorry for myself because it was just one of those days where you need a really good cry and you'll feel better. Well, the feel better part is creeping in slowly, so I figured getting my thoughts out would help.

I've been back in San Diego for about a month and half (wow, it feels like it's been several months), and it's nothing like it was when I was in high school. Obviously. I'm a different person. So are all of my friends from Bonita Vista and Mt. Carmel. Yes, I still talk to some of them every once in a while. You know those conversations...the "Hey, how's it going, long time no talk," conversations. But while I'm sitting here, I've realized a few things.

I really miss being in Flagstaff. Not for the city or the school, but for the people. I didn't have very many close friends, and I never really have throughout my entire life. It's always been a few people and then everyone else I know and hang out with on occasion. But I miss those "on occasion" people. And the close friends as well. I don't have that here. I have my family, Richard and 2 close friends. That's it.

I have my family, Richard and 2 close friends. I realized this tonight. I depend too much on these people. Whether its for comfort, laughs, hanging out, sports games...anything. And I realize this, not because we are growing apart, but because I miss the "on occasion" people I used to have down here. And I miss my old high school friends, desperately. I lost a lot of friends in high school at Bonita through my 3 years there for various reasons. Some good and some bad. But the ones that stuck with me were the ones I thought I would always be in touch with. Jeanette, Melanie, Elizabeth, Janella...just to name a few. And then the wonderful friends that I made at Mt. Carmel during my senior year: Kirsten, Agnes, Cheryl, Liz, Alyssa, again to just name a few.

I've been student teaching at Olympian High School. I see these students everyday in their groups, laughing and having fun. You know, the carefree days of high school. And as much as love being out of high school and almost into the real world, I can't help but miss it. There are some students that I connect with more than others, and I think to myself, Are these the people I would have been friends with if I was in high school? Or I think to myself, This person really reminds me of (insert name here). I didn't realize how much I missed these people until I started student teaching.

One last thing that I realized. I regret not making the effort to keep those friendships alive. When I came home on breaks those first few years of college I was putting all of my energy into my long distance relationship. Understandable, yes. But unforgivable. And I am paying the price now for sacrificing my friendships for a relationship that didn't even last. And where did it leave me? Lonely. I will learn this time around though. When I'm in Flagstaff I'll make the effort to see my friends and not just Richard (no offense, babe).

"A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed." I love this quote. It's true to your everyday life as you grow as a person and a friend. I've lost almost all of my diamonds. But now I need to find my pebbles and polish them. It's always a work in progress.

CM

A Lot Of Rambling

Hey everyone! This post is going to be a bit ramble-y, there’s just a few different subjects that I want to touch on (student teaching, my ring/engagement, my wedding dress, my placement, etc).

So, I started my student teaching this week, even though I don’t have a supervisor yet (way to go, NAU!). BUT, everything is going well. Right now I’m observing how the program works, and I’ve been helping out some beginners (on clarinet and mallets). The kids all seem really eager to learn and were very welcoming. I’m writing this during a break in my schedule, but I don’t have internet so I’ll have to post it later. Today is their first marching rehearsal, so that’ll be fun! I’ll let you know how that goes on a different post. There is one kid with autism in the percussion class who is extremely intelligent. He picks up on things quicker than the new kids sometimes. And as sad that it is that there is this “barrier,” its really heart-warming to see him get excited about playing the bass drum or playing on the mallet instruments. And I think his enthusiasm definitely rubs off and gets the other kids happy and excited about music. Hey, that’s what we’re all in this for right?

After our Montana trip (which will be a completely different post, one that is very picture heavy), I obviously only had 1 day left in Flagstaff. This included: finishing packing my room, loading the truck, cleaning the apartment, standing in line for HP, the movie, sleeping for a few hours, my last orthodontist appointment, breakfast, then driving home for 7 ½ hours. So of course, it was now or never for the proposal and ring, haha. Although we both had different ideas (I thought I was going to his place, he showed up at mine with my dad there, haha), he proposed with my stuffed penguin (nickname), called Tux, my Tiffany-blue nail polish (China Glaze – For Audrey), and of course the ring. So, a lot of you know that we took the stone out of my mom’s engagement ring, and we got it placed in a white gold solitaire setting. Its beautiful, check it out (sorry, my dad's camera doesn't like shooting things in macro like its supposed to):

So I know this picture is blurry and awful, but it shows a bit of the fire in the diamond (:

I can’t be any happier, we both are very excited (maybe I’m just slightly more so…but hey, I’m a girl we plan this once we can think for ourselves!). And on that note…

I went up to Del Mar to meet my mom for lunch on Saturday. And of course, talk wedding talk (among other things). So, on a spontaneous trip to Alfred Angelo, we found ourselves a few hours later looking at wedding dresses (and bridesmaids dresses). Shortly after that, if you walked in you would see me in my first wedding dress and my mom crying (of course! She said she wouldn’t…yeah right :P). I tried on 6 or 7 dresses, but the entire time it was between the first two. And the whole time not only am I thinking, Oh God, I love two dresses what am I going to do, but also Oh my God, am I really trying on wedding dresses for my wedding that is 2-3 years away?! But yeah, I was. And yeah, I did. We ultimately chose one, which we will be purchasing later this year, at a great price! As well as the veil and headpiece which were just beautiful, the consultant read my mind! Of course, we are still going to try on more dresses for two reasons:  1. All we tried were Alfred Angelo and 2. There’s this one dress (some of you have seen) that I fell in love with in magazines. I marked it separately three times before I realized it was all the same dress. I have t try it on. Even though I know now, based on the others that I tried on, that it won’t be as I thought it would on my figure, I still have to. I’ve sent some pictures out (seeing how we were caught by surprise, its only cell phone pictures…and not enough of them! :P), but if you would like to see just leave a comment or get a hold of me somehow. The only condition is that you can’t go showing Richard (duh!). And I’ll give you me details on the dress, seeing how I can’t reveal too much here because somebody claims to read this blog (hint hint).

My last subject for today is my placement. I was placed at two different middle schools before the third one became the final placement. Bonita Vista Middle School. I just wanted to share my feelings on the matter. Most of you know what my experience was, both good and bad, with those schools. And although I knew I was working in the same district, I never expected to be that close, if that makes sense. It is very saddening for me, but at the same time I know that I have to professional and smile and nod until I can get through those 8 weeks. After my first few days in band at BVMS in 7^th grade, I knew that I wanted to be a band director. So I did find it fitting that I will end my undergraduate career at the same place before I officially enter the real world. It’ll be a tough 8 weeks, but I’ve survived it before and I can do it again. And it will make me a stronger and better person.

On that note, my break is almost up. Time to see if any of my reeds work so I can help out the clarinets today. Hah.

CM

I'm Back!

It has been quite a while since my last post. But I am back home in San Diego! My room is all set up and 95% of all of my things are put away, going to good will or going in the trash! I've been so exhausted lately, I think everything from the past couple of weeks has all of a sudden caught up with me and I've just been exhausted ever since. So here's just a quick post of nail polish!

Richard bought me the Nice Stems Collection from OPI, because he's just amazing like that! (: There are 4 colors in the collection, all varying shades of pink. Really only two called out to me, but I'll find uses for the other two (which is a pale pink and a coral pink). But, for today, I have Be A Dahlia, Won't You and I Lily Love You (which is an amazing top coat, by the way).

Here's BADWY on its own. Its a bright pink with loads of shimmer in it. Its beautiful on its own...but I just had to play around with I Lily Love You, so...

ILLY has a bunch of different shaped glitter and flakies suspended in a pink jelly base. It is very sheer on its own, and of course meant for layering (which is always fun!). As you can see from different angles there are multiple shapes. There was a huge flake on my pinky, as you can see in the last photo! In these I had some fun and used Hard Candy's Matte Top Coat (Matte-ly In Love, I think?), on my ring finger and Seche Vite on the rest. This manicure lasted for 2 weeks before I finally had time to take it off...and that's two weeks of intense cleaning, playing with 2 kids, traveling, packing, moving, etc. All there was was tip wear and the obvious growth. Pretty good, thanks OPI!

I hope to have my engagement ring posted up soon! (:

CM

4th of July

Hello! I hope everyone had a great Fourth of July. Mine was pretty laid back. My dad, Richard and I went and walked around the mall (and bought my engagement ring!), then took fatty naps, then cooked hotdogs, then went back to the mall for Flagstaff's lame fireworks. No joke, they were extremely lame. We left before they were over.

On a much brighter note, this is the last day of this awful class. I'm not coming tomorrow because I have everything turned in and I am done. Plus, my dad and I are leaving for Montana tomorrow morning to see my brother, niece and nephew, so yeah.

 I just wanted to do a quick post, in case anyone missed my patriotic manicure! It was actually pretty easy, but I could have done the job a little bit neater, so the lines were more straight. But here it is:

Enjoy! 

CM

52 Reasons Why I Love You

Hey everyone! I'm just sitting in my waste-of-time-and-$1300-for-5-weeks-class. So why not share with you a gift I had made for Richard for his birthday in November. I had seen this done before, its simply a deck of cards with 52 (the number of cards) reasons why you love whoever you're giving the gift to.

What I did was I took tissue paper from Victoria's Secret, and cut it out so I could glue it to the cards, alternating between 3 colors/designs. I then printed out my reasons, cut them out and pasted them to construction paper. The construction paper then got glued to the card. Then the whole thing was laminated (for a special touch), hole-punched and tied together. So here's a few pictures of the finished product:

Just a few examples. Hope you enjoyed it, and maybe you'll make this for someone you love! (:

CM

Revlon - Black With Envy

So there's been talk about Revlon's recent color, Black With Envy, being a dupe of Chanel's Black Pearl. From comparisons that I've seen (mostly from VampyVarnish), they are similar but there are differences. However, due to the price tag difference of at least $15, I stuck with Revlon's version.

The formula was decent. One of Revlon's better formulas, especially since their new Summer Romantics collection is a streaky, chalky mess (of the colors I've tried so far). So, let's take a look:

Its a pretty blackened charcoal gray with fine silver shimmer throughout.

Here's a better shot of the shimmer.

Sorry for the wrinkly fingers. I've stopped putting lotion on right before I paint my nails, because I stopped using Chip Skip. Its been making my nails peel slightly, and they haven't been the same since.

And just for fun, I added some Nfu Oh #60 (Flakies) on the ring finger. And for once, my camera actually captured the flakies somewhat well.

Look at that rainbow in the bottle. Beautiful.

Enlarge the picture!

That's all for now!

CM

Irrational Fears

A few weeks ago I was reading one of my favorite bloggers, and she did a post on irrational fears. It was a fun post, just to poke fun at those fears that you have that make no sense whatsoever, yet you still have them. I thought I would share some of mine, and if you would like leave a comment with some of yours!

• Putting on shoes that haven't been worn in a while - I'm always afraid that spiders or some kind of disgusting bug will have crawled up into my shoes and will attack me when I put them on. I usually shake my shoes violently until I'm 100% positive that there is nothing in them.
• Looking into the rear view mirror at night time - More specifically, when it is really late and I'm the only car on the road. I'm just afraid that I'll look up and see some scary and creepy face or something in the mirror. Too many horror movies.
• Sleeping with the closet door open - I don't really know why I have this fear. When I'm living at home I have to close my doors and block them with my music stand. If I didn't do it, I couldn't sleep. Its not as bad since I've moved out, but there's something about my room at home that freaks me every once in a while.
• Putting my hands close to drains - Any type. Bathroom sinks, kitchen sinks, toilets, shower drains, pool drains. Any type of drain  you can think of. I guess I'm always afraid that I'll get sucked in, or my fingers will get caught or a big bug will come up from them. I've just never liked it.
• The dark - I used to have to jump into bed once I turned the light off so that my feet would touch the ground as little as possible. Then I realized I should just get a bedside lamp. It has helped a lot. But really, anything to do with the dark scares me.
• Walking over grates in the ground - I'm always afraid that it'll give once I step on it, and I'll fall into this creepy hole with sewage, weird monsters, rats, etc. Ugh.
• Uncovered Windows at Night - I'm always afraid someone is looking in, just planning to break in and get me and my family. I know, ridiculous. Its why all the doors have to be locked all of the time, and why I walk really fast past the back door at night (there are no blinds or curtains on it).
• Sneezing while Driving - I'm afraid that I'll sneeze really hard while I'm going fast and lose control of my car. Scary.

Well, these are just a few of my irrational fears. I know, some are quite ridiculous. But its fun to see who has similar fears. Enjoy!

CM